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Tuesday, February 12, 2013

6.9m? Don't Worry Be Happy!

I wasn't going to talk about this but since the whole world (yes whole world) and not just Singapore is talking about it, I think I need to put in my 2 cents worth too. Just to be "in" with the crowd, you know.

Anyway, Singaporean and even foreign born converted Singaporean are crying father crying mother over the projected population target of 6.9m by 2030. Everybody is super worried and pissed off about this humongous increase in population. "Where we going to stay?" They cried.  "Are we going to have to employ people pusher at our train stations to get the people into the trains?" Another group screamed. "And how are we going to get jobs?" 

Me? I think our people have too little faith in our gahmen. You think they stupid is it? Our gahmen you know is the highest paid gahmen in the world.  Therefore must be smart otherwise they won't pay themselves so much. They have the greatest foresight - like how confident they were of keeping Punggol East in the latest By-Election. Of course we cannot blame them if they make a little "mis-calculation" here and there. Like telling people to "Stop at Two" and now telling us we don't have enough people to fill jobs. They are human after all and human are not perfect.

But I digress. The story here is about the 6.9m and what our gahmen is doing to prepare the country for it. I tell you. Way before the White Paper came out, the gahmen has already planned for everything.

Not enough space to accommodate everybody?  You think all the digging and digging for the various MRT is for fun is it? Secretly the gahmen has already incorporated plans to house people underground. Some more, for easy connectivity, the houses will be sited along the underground MRT lines and stations. Like in the Batman movies, people with no space to live on the space simply just need to move underground. And we don't just have the mrt lines criss crossing the island.

The PUB is also building giant sewer tunnels and JTC is digging up a big city on Jurong Island which will be big enough to house 2 major estates. And what happened to all the soil dug up? Why - for reclamation of the offshore islands to join them to mainland Singapore of course! So you see, the gahmen already planned for all the extra space to accommodate the increase in population. Smart right?

 Transport woes? Where got problem? So many new MRT lines coming out until see the map also blur.

And for those who prefer a little bit more comfort, Singapore has one of the biggest fleet of taxi in the world. Still not convinced? How about water taxi? Yes Singapore also got water taxi like Thailand and Venice. Now they operate along the Singapore river but I am sure it is on trial only. Next time it will be from Punggol, Pasir Ris, Sembawang to Marina Bay, etc etc  Of course, to guarantee success, the new company must be gahmen linked like AIM and run by ex-minister and MP. Like that sure no problem. And what better company than a phone directory company; which has super great experience in delivering .......... phone books; to deliver people over the sea! And with an ex-cabinet minister to manage it, how can go wrong?

So housing checked, transport checked, how about jobs?

With all the constructions and increase in MRT line, taxi fleet, where got no jobs? Every Singaporean will be guaranteed a job by our gahmen. Just like they plan how our boys go through NS, I am sure somewhere within the gahmen, an army of officers are already planning job placement for every Singaporean born between now and 2030. We are short of workers in practically every industries including the military. And the best thing of all, next time no need to look for job - the gahmen will automatically assign a job to you based on a pre-defined criteria. And all we need to do is to sign on the dotted line. So simple. Don't believe? What is the name of the ministry in charge of employment? Ministry of Manpower and in short.... MOM. See? Mummy knows best and mummy always take care of their children.

So you see, the gahmen got everything figured out. So no worries. Come 2030, everything will be taken care of by our great and loving gahmen!


  1. Where's the money for all this building going to come from?

  2. Money for construction comes from our cash rich government with the huge reserves and taxes and COE. When they run out, they will just need to increase GST and increase the CPF withdrawal age again